The Doli: A Bittersweet Indian Wedding Tradition
The "Doli" is a tradition in Indian weddings that marks the emotional departure of the bride from her parental home. As a documentary Indian Wedding Photographer, this is probably one of my favourite parts of a Sikh Wedding.
After the wedding ceremony, the bride departs her home and makes her way to her groom’s house, symbolizing the beginning of her new life with her husband. While the bride’s family may feel a sense of sadness at her departure, they are also filled with joy and hope for her future. It’s a time of deeply mixed emotions, blending the bittersweet with celebration.
The groom arrives at the bride's home, often accompanied by a lively procession of friends and family. He may be greeted with music, dance, and colorful decorations. The groom must complete a series of challenges and offer a small "bribe" to the bride's siblings to gain their approval and allow him to enter the house.
As the groom and his family settle into the bride’s home, they're welcomed with drinks and sweets, a light-hearted moment to relax and reflect on the day's festivities. It's also a time for both families to bond, sharing stories and laughter. One tradition I love witnessing is when the bride’s siblings playfully prank the groom—sabotaging his drink with a pinch of salt or sneaking chili into his ladoo (a classic Indian sweet). It’s a fun and mischievous way to break the ice, bringing everyone closer before the emotional Doli departure.
I’ve witnessed countless heartfelt traditions, but one that always stands out is when the bride’s father places the “pala” (a scarf or shawl) on her hand. It’s more than just a gesture—it’s a deeply emotional moment that marks the shift in the bride’s journey, symbolizing her father’s trust as he transfers her care to her new husband. You can feel the weight of the moment as the bride, often holding back tears, looks at her father with a mix of gratitude and love. Capturing these raw emotions is truly special.
In a symbolic and emotional farewell, the bride throws rice over her head as she departs her childhood home. This act of tossing rice is her way of showing gratitude and repaying her parents for everything they've given her. It’s a final gesture of appreciation before she begins her new life with her husband, and for me as a photographer, capturing this moment always feels deeply significant. The mix of emotions—sadness, love, and excitement—makes for powerful images that tell the story of her transition.
As she gets into the car, the bride says her final alavida to her family and friends, often with tears and emotional goodbyes. The Doli procession then departs, carrying the bride to her new home.
Pani Varna
When the bride and groom arrive at the groom's house, they are welcomed by the groom's mother, who leads a ceremony at the entrance called Pani Varna. In this ritual, the groom’s mother circles a glass of milk or water around the heads of the bride and groom seven times. This symbolizes blessings and the removal of any negative energy or evil eye. After each circle, she tries to take a sip from the glass, but here’s where the fun begins—traditionally, the groom tries to stop her from drinking the milk, and sometimes, the bride joins in too. This playful moment often leads to laughter, helping the bride feel at ease and adding a light-hearted touch to the ceremony.
The Pani Varna not only symbolizes the blessing of the couple but also represents the joy and happiness in the home at the arrival of a new family member. It’s a warm, welcoming moment that deepens the connection between the bride and groom's family. As part of the ceremony's conclusion, the couple eventually drinks the milk themselves, signifying their shared journey and the start of their life together.
The rest of the evening is often filled with traditional games like Gana and Kangna, creating a joyful atmosphere that brings everyone together. These games continue the fun, ensuring that the bride feels comfortable and settled with her new family.
